FINDING COMFORT IN DISCOMFORT

For those of you who haven't discovered the physical and mental benefits of yoga, don't tune out just yet--I'm not here to convert you. I'd rather discuss how a fundamental yoga principal applies to Emma Roberts, the main character in HOW TO DATE DEAD GUYS, who's uncomfortable basically all the time when the book begins.

I learned the phrase "finding comfort in discomfort" from Sandra Carson of Ekhart yoga. She explained that practicing yoga frees the individual to find the space, both physically and mentally, to become more comfortable in poses you don't naturally find a body in when not performing yoga (hello, downward dog).

We all have something in our lives we find difficult--public speaking, going to the doctor, or dating. The energy we spend fretting is simply a waste. Instead of worrying about something and getting nothing accomplished in the meantime, why not address the issue head on and resolve our fears?

"Even though I probably have the highest GPA at this party,

I sometimes have trouble forming complete sentences in front of attractive men."

-Emma Roberts, uncomfortable at parties

 Are you shy? Then force yourself to work or volunteer somewhere where you have to talk to people. Will it make you uncomfortable? Yes, but only at first. It will take time, but eventually it will become natural to talk to strangers. When this happens, congratulate yourself, because you've removed a barrier to your own happiness.

"How can I be a doctor if I can't handle vomit or nudity?"

-Emma, who really shouldn’t be a doctor

    Are you scared to go to the doctor? Lots of people are, whether it's fear of needles or blood or just the discomfort of the exam. I play a game with myself every year when I have to have my "womanly physical" (ladies, you know what I mean). I remind myself, "This doesn't hurt as much as childbirth." It's no big deal. Everybody does it, and then gets on with their day. I'm not saying having a mammogram is a joyous experience, but I don't worry about it anymore. Fretting is a waste of time and spirit.

"I don't want a love spell.

I don't believe in chanting, potions, and candle lighting anyway."

- Emma, who soon changes her mind

Does the thought of dating make you cringe? Actually, I probably can't help you with that. Dating really isn't that much fun, probably because it involves dating the wrong person much of the time. Don't settle. Don't sympathy date. And if you're uncomfortable, just leave. Be polite about it, but don't waste your life, your evening, or your heart. Respect your own feelings and set high standards. Treat others as you wish to be treated, but also don't accept any less in return.

By the end of the book, Emma is much more comfortable with many things, but she'll suffer through a whole lot more discomfort before I'm done with her. I can be such a meanie sometimes.

For the rest of you, please take this advice to heart:  address your fears head on, or they'll grow bigger and damage you.

LINES FROM THE MASTER - CHARLES DICKENS

LINES FROM THE MASTER

In an effort to assist Emma Roberts (the main character of How to Date Dead Guys) in her pursuit of quotes from dead people, I offer the following gems from Charles Dickens--the master of plot lines and prose.

“A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be

 that profound secret and mystery to every other.”

― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

How well do any of us know each other?

Isn't that the eternal question?

And how well do we even know ourselves?

Emma will learn she is capable of so much more,

As she unravels the mysteries of her new powers

and the deaths of those around her.

The Tension of Great Expectations 

“A multitude of people and yet solitude.”

― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

  

This describes Emma perfectly at the start of the book.

Surrounded by people but so alone.

  

Little Dorrit, and also the pensive face I picture for Emma

  

“Think now and then that there is a man

who would give his life,

to keep a life you love beside you.”

― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

  

I love how Dickens made the anti-hero

the true hero in this book.

 (Who else fell more in love with Sydney Carton

than Charles Darnay?)

  

“You have been the last dream of my soul.”

― Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

(One of the most romantic lines ever uttered.)

Misguided lovers in Bleak House

“Have a heart that never hardens,

and a temper that never tires,

and a touch that never hurts.”

― Charles Dickens

Wonderful life goals for every soul on this planet.

“Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies.”

― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Despite the truth of this line,

I don't agree.

We should all be asking questions

Every day of our lives…

But we must also expect to be lied to,

And so we must ascertain the truth for ourselves.

The players of Great Expectations 

“The broken heart.

You think you will die,

but you just keep living,

day after day after terrible day.”

― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

This is how one feels after a tragedy.

How can life go on?

Oh, but it does.

And, like the rest of us,

Emma must find the willpower to survive.

Secrets revealed and hearts broken in Bleak House

“I stole her heart away and put ice in its place.”

― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

  

The goal is to melt the ice.

And that is why Emma meets Jake.

Little Dorrit, why couldn't he see her passion?

“A man is lucky if he is the first love of a woman.

A woman is lucky if she is the last love of a man.”

― Charles Dickens

How interesting that this was true then,

And is still true today.

Great Expectations, showing how a person can drown in sorrow

“And I am bored to death with it.

Bored to death with this place,

bored to death with my life,

bored to death with myself.”

― Charles Dickens, Bleak House

When no light is left, that's when

Boredom sets in.

Bleak House, so many twists, so many turns

“All partings foreshadow the great final one.”

― Charles Dickens, Bleak House

  

There are a great many partings in How to Date Dead Guys,

The trick is to figure out which one is the final one.

  

For the last quote, I chose one

to please my veterinarian self.

“What greater gift than the love of a cat.”

― Charles Dickens

Of course, there is a cat in How to Date Dead Guys.

How to juggle witchcraft, murderous rivers and ghosts, and still look good to date.

By Chrissy Peterson, Emma's much more fashionable roommate

in Book 1 - How to Date Dead Guys

First of all, I have a complaint against the author of this novel. As Emma's roommate, I should be in more scenes. But, no, I'm practically ignored. And it's because of me that everything happens. If I hadn't dragged Emma to an awesome party that night, she never would've even met Mike Carlson.

That's right. I'm the true reason everything happened. Without me, Emma would still be in our dorm room eating Pringles and reading some silly children's book about "Ann of the Green House," or some such title.

So remember that. And try to pay more attention to me. Everyone else does, so you should, too.

At least the author was smart enough to realize that, on the topics of beauty and dating, I was the best person to consult.

Now you have to understand that it took me a while to realize what was going on with Emma. It's not like she shares much with me. One time, when we still lived together, she seemed depressed. I thought somebody died or something. It took me three whole days to drag out of her that she got a "B" on a test. Why didn't she just say that in the first place? Emma is so weird sometimes. She has this "thing" about not talking about her grades to anyone.

Back to my list of helpful hints that Emma should obey to improve her life:

1) BEAUTY SLEEP

The problem with Emma is that she doesn't respect the fact that a healthy person needs 6-8 hours of sleep a night. Sometimes she stays up way too late or gets up far too early to study. Then after Mike died, she had troubles with nightmares. I really think she should've gone into therapy for this. She might've avoided a lot of trouble that way. Sleep is very important, both to feel and look good. If Emma would've just taken a hot bath and some melatonin before bed, and talked to a counselor about her guilty conscience, then she would've gotten the sleep she needed. And proper rest is necessary before making important decisions. Everything went wrong simply because Emma didn't get enough sleep.

2) DRESS FOR SUCCESS

If there's one thing Emma sucks at, it's dressing herself. She looks like an eighth grade boy with those cargo shorts and purple Converse tennis shoes. I mean, this is college. It's time to look pretty, wear a skirt now and then to show off your legs, and do something with your hair besides slinging it up in a ponytail. But she'll never listen to me. It's hopeless.

3) EXPLORE NEW HOBBIES

College is a wonderful place to explore new things, but, of course, Emma would choose something bizarre like witchcraft instead of the proper things like yoga, concert choir, or cheerleading. I don't know where she gets these ideas. Why would you choose an activity that you can't include on a resume someday? I just don't understand her at all.

4) THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS

Emma must not watch enough TV, or something, but I've seen tons of very educational programs on this topic. Ghosts simply don't exist. Sometimes my sister, Angie, and I fight about this, because she says Grandma still talks to her-which is ridiculous, because Grandma's been dead for years. But you have to understand that Angie is my kid sister, and still kind of immature. She's into that witchcraft stuff, too. Sometimes I tell her she should stop, but she never listens.

To be honest, I have one, tiny confession to admit-I had her do a love spell for me once. But it was only that one time, I swear.

5) GO WITH THE FLOW

Another one of Emma's many problems is that she's too intense. She doesn't know how to relax. If she's so obsessed with the river, she should just take its lead and learn to "go with the flow." Why does she always have to fight everything? Why can't she just take it easy? I tried taking her to one of my yoga relaxation classes once, but she kept sighing through the whole thing like she was bored to death. Then, afterwards, instead of thanking me for expanding her horizons, all she could do was complain about the smell of everyone's feet. I give up.

Well, there you go. This is my list and if Emma would only listen to me, her life would be so much better.

And if you ever need a Life Coach, just give me a call.

I'm here to help.

-Chrissy Peterson.

I don't get to do much in Book 2,
but there's a rumor I come back to cause mischief in Book 3!

COVER REVEAL for the PARANORM WORLD

Today's feature is The Paranorm World series by June Stevens Westerfield. The third book in the series, Changing Moon, is releasing June 20, and today we are revealing its cover. But first, a little about the Paranorm World.

The Paranorm World

Two hundred years ago the world was very different. It was an age of technology and prosperity. There were more than 7 billion people on earth. Magic and paranormal beings were relegated to fiction and myth. In the Technological Age Year 2012 the Earth experienced a natural phenomena which we now call the Cataclysm. There was a polar shift in which the earths natural magnetic poles shifted. The polar shift caused a series of natural disasters that changed the landscape of the world. Earthquakes, hurricanes, blizzards, tornadoes, and tsunamis pounded the world leaving devastation and death. Whole cities and even states were leveled by earthquakes and swallowed by the sea. The melting of the polar ice caps caused flooding.

Society collapsed. Major cities were leveled by disasters, power plants and refineries were destroyed. The basic infrastructure of the country disintegrated. There was no longer any electricity, public water systems no longer worked. Food supplies dwindled as there was no longer enough gasoline for shipping. At first the government tried to keep order with police and military. But as more and more disasters destroyed major cities and even the capital of the United States, the government crumbled. With no government to pay or command them there was no longer an army or even police forces. Riots abounded, destroying as much property as the disasters.

Disasters killed more than half the population in just a few years. Over the next five decades famine, disease, and war killed millions more. Humanities only chance for survival was reliant on those who had long ago become outcasts and myths. Humans who through natural evolution, genetics, or viruses had preternatural abilities.

In the ruins of the old civilization, a new one rose up. One that blends technology and magic. One where paranormal beings like mages, vampires and shifters live side by side with normal humans.

Changing Moon: A Moon Sisters Novel

Paranorm World Book Three

A brutal attack has left Anya’s body and life forever changed.

The man she loved is gone, her relationship with her family is in tatters, and her future is dead. With the woman who attacked her still at large, her growing friendship with Luca is the one comfort keeping her sane.

Determined to take control of her life and her body, she finds her purpose to move forward, getting revenge

Voodoo Moon: A Moon Sisters Novel

Paranorm World Book One

A sinister magic is sweeping across Nash City...

To Fiona Moon, it’s just another day at work. And some days, well, they’re a helluva lot worse than others. As a member of the elite Black Blade Guard, Fiona is tasked with hunting down the most-dangerous Paranorm criminals. To find out who is kidnapping mages and sucking the life energy from their bodies, she has to work with the one man that embodies everything she despises.

Master Necromancer Ian Barroes, a rich professor of Necromantic Studies, wants only one thing in this world… Fiona.

They each hold secrets that could destroy them, but that could also be the key to destroying the evil Voodoo priest, Bokor. They must learn to trust each other and track down Bokor before more innocent lives are lost. When Fiona becomes a target of the evil madman, she is lured into his trap. Now, she and Ian have to fight for survival… and their very souls.

AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK & FREE EBOOK

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Immortal Moon: A Moon Sisters Novel

Paranorm World Book Two

Anya Moon only has one personal rule: Don’t date vampires. She never dreamed the price for breaking it could be her life.

In his five hundred years as an assassin, Jarrett Campbell has never gone beyond a one-night stand with a woman. As a vampire, he knows a lasting relationship with a Norm is out of the question. But Anya Moon is just too intriguing to pass up. A two-week fling can’t hurt as long as they both know how it will end… right?

Caught up in a romance he never expected, Jarrett forgets that his life as an assassin is never safe... especially when one of his past targets returns from the dead. Now he is in a race against time to save Anya, but is her life worth his death?

About June Stevens Westerfield

JUNE STEVENS WESTERFIELD writes romantic fiction with strong, confident heroines. Her non-fiction work includes collections of real life stories that help give other women a voice. In addition to writing, she runs two small businesses designing greeting cards and websites.

When not working she can be found reading, making jewelry, or snuggling on the sofa with her husband and six furbabies binge watching Netflix.

Find June Online