Monday, July 27, 2015


Q: I'm sad you hate math, but understand it's not everyone's favorite. I have a good junior high teacher friend whose goal in life is to make math interesting to her kids. If you had a teacher who brought in a crapload of honest to goodness pies every March 14th, do you think she could've won you over?

A: While I love a good 3.14159... there's no way banana creme once a year could gap the gorge that is between math and I. We are like olympians and titans, aesir and ragnarök, like mac and pc. weekly pie however might have been enough for me to actually have done my homework, or to keep me in class. Maybe not both, though. My brain is just stuck in the anti-math position. The hulk has an easier time managing his condition than I, if I tried.

Q: From your website: "Craves actual honest to goodness ball-bearing, adrenaline, die-if-you-fall, "don’t you dare go out without a helmet,” distance times time, kind of speeds. Still has a driver’s license."
Is this all auto-related, or do you bike? fly? skateboard? rollerblade? (you may laugh at the last one, but not if you were witness to the second to last time I tried to kill myself rollerblading...)

A: I don't discriminate. Roller blading is fun, but I refer to longboarding. I never could get ollie a skateboard, but bombing hills at breakneck speed is a favorite past time. And falling is half the fun. Though macho, I don't recommend putting ones shoulder back in its socket by ones self.

The quote also does refer to how I used to drive. I never did lose my license, but I came close, awfully close. but I drive much more slowly now.

Q: I'm perplexed by everyone's obsession with sushi. What can you say to sway my inherent aversion to the whole idea? :)

A: Sushi? baby steps. get your sticks on a real genuine 'murican tempura dipped roll. even get the steak version if you have to. get extra sauce. mix your wasabi and soy sauce like a westerner, and let it take you. maybe just tempura shrip next, or one of the soy paper wrapped ones. but work your way from there, because eel is the best.

(***Ann: EWWWWWWW! I'm such a food weenie.
I'm totally grossed out right now because you said "eel."***)

Q: From your blog: "Into post rock, lo-fi, EDM, prog-house, most anything-tronicaneo-folkchiptune, and 2nd wave emo. (ask at your own risk)" Please provide a short definition of all these words/phrases, particularly "prog-house" (which I keep seeing "frog-house in my head, and I don't think that is right.)

A: This is a huge can of worms... and I usually treat it on a case by case basis. I find out what you like first, then suggest music from there. I'm like a missionary out to convert anyone who will listen to "good" music. but... post rock - the foals, lo-fi - múm, EDM - zedd, prog-house - deadmau5, most anything-tronica, neo-folk - menomena, chiptune - anamanaguchi, and 2nd wave emo. still (ask at your own risk)" 
I feel like noise rock is missing from this list... battles, and yeasayer.

(***Ann here: I'll admit it. I'm totally lost. I don't know what half those words/phrases mean.***)

See? You all knew I'd HAVE to put a cat in here somewhere, right?

Q: Please describe the basis for your love for the color NEON PINK. I'm quite curious.

A: I... have no idea. it's just really rad, especially in tandem with neon blue. yes, I understand chemically saying "neon" makes no sense... but I had crayons in the 80's. y'know, actually I think my love for pink and blue also has roots in pens. those pilot uniball pens that come in varios colors. I remember playing with them, and doing biology homework in neon...
round two.

Lucy Honeychurch, this is not.

Q: What's your favorite movie version of any of the literary fantasies you enjoy reading?

A: Alice in Wonderland, the Tim Burton one. Hands down. 

This movie is so fab--I am in full agreement.

I mean Lord of the Rings is good and all, and I'm all for as much cinema as they want to milk the Hobbit for, but Alice! I am so hype for the next one! also I want to say, on the record, that I loved john carter, and I balled like pregnant Meg Ryan fan, when I saw the great and powerful oz.

(***Ann here: it took me THREE TIMES to realize the FAN was pregnant, not Meg Ryan. Wow. Slow on the uptake--that's me today, I guess.***)

Nathan Croft does NOT approve of this sign.

Q: What's your favorite 80s song? Be honest.

A: *cringe* I take it you saw the facebook controversy I started a while back... there isn't a lot that I hate as much as 80's music... some of it is even worse than maths! 

Prince is mad at you now. Watch out.

But... there are some songs I can tolerate. 80's music that I actually do like? the Pixies, the Cars, Huey Lewis has a couple songs in there as well.

Seriously, what about the CURE???

And technically the smashing pumpkins started in '89 and they're my favorite band.

Q: Describe the most embarrassing event which occurred as an author.

A: Either I'm not trying hard enough, or ive got a jacked up threshold for what embarrasses me. but really, as an author, the only embarrassing moments were introducing myself twice on accident during a pitch to and agent, and just general sort of misplaced jokes meeting a particular author I look up to. It sounds like I havent paid my dues in this regard yet... stay tuned.

You heard it here, folks. Everybody's waiting for this man--Nathan Croft--
to embarrass himself as an author in public.

Q: If you're willing to share--what was the worst date you ever endured?

A: Um, im going to deflect a little. I never had any terrible dates or anything. but....

Q: Please share a picture of your favorite triple striped shoes, nearly every color.
A: this picture included
round three. insert mike tysons punchnout reference here.

Q: What event would you call your breakthrough as an author?

A: My breakthrough as a writer, which in many ways is far more important than the breakthrough as an author, is when I first found my voice......

Q: What do you know now that you wish you knew much earlier on as an author?

A: How to write. specifically how I personally put pen to paper... proverbially. (I type) my own processes for getting past distractions and over walls when I hit them. I had no theory for combating "writers block" for a long time, and as such, my first novel took over 6 years to write--compared to less than 6 months to write Homunculus and the Cat.

Q: What's the best marketing advice you can give other authors?

A: I will answer this with a question. What  do you get when you cross and elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino.

No, this isn't an "elephino," it's an elephant playing soccer, which makes so much more sense.

 Seriously, though I have no idea. 

Happy elephants make everyone feel better, right?

I don't buy into the whole follow and favorite en masse thing. I won't follow you because you followed me, and I certainly wont follow you to try and get you to follow me and then ditch you next week. 

(***Ann here: Yes, what is up with that? I don't understand the numbers game at all.***)

I will use ANY excuse to post pictures of elephants.

I try to be genuine and honest, but I've also gotten a lot of crap for that....
I will say that if you have anything unique at all, anything you are passionate about. Pursure that. and maybe you can find a correlation there with your writing...

Q: Name 5 books you wish you'd written (and not just for the money and fame).

A: Oh, man. I don't think I've ever thought this, not in these terms. I have thought a lot about what I would have done differently with many books. That's actually how I got into writing fiction in the first place. I hated Tolkien's and Rowling's elves. I was sure I could do better....

Here's Nathan's book. Not sure about the elves...

Q: List 5 books you loved as a child.

A: I... confession time... didn't real a lot as a kid. I loved jeremy thatcher dragon hatcher. I read it like 5 times. and I read a kids version of 20,000 leagues under the sea a few times. I had a non fiction book on space, and a beginners guide to greek mythology that I loved. but thats really it. I mean, I don't count the Bernstein bears books. I didn't read them by myself. In high school I was given enders game and loved it, but I actually finished the series. Xenocide changed my life. but that still wasn't my literary awakening. Harry Potter got big when I was a junior in high school, and around the same time, before the lord of the rings movies, I read those. The hobbit transformed me. Between that and Potter, I couldn't get enough magic. I learned the term fantasy and I started picking up random books off my english teacher's shelf. I don't think she knew. She never made any recommendations and I had no idea where to start or what to read. I actually read a bunch of crappy books. I don't remember half of them. and then I graduated. I got absorbed in morrowind: the elder scrolls III, and it wasnt until I was 21 or so that I started reading again. I hit Narnia for the first time at 23. I read earthsea. eventually I read sanderson zelazney and mieville. I do audio books like crazy now. I'm still trying to make up for all that lost time.
Sorry, that was more than you asked...

I'm just sad you didn't know Aslan until you were in your 20s.
The child in me is so sad for you right now.

***Ann here again:***
Thanks for reading and thanks for the interview, Nathan.
It's been fun getting to know other authors (and to find ways to insert cat pictures in each blog post--the top focus of my life, to be sure).

If you're eager to learn more about Nathan Croft, check out his author blog HERE.


  1. Wonderful getting to know another of CQ's authors. Neon pink is good, I'm wearing it now on my finger and toe nails!

    Great interview Ann, intriguing questions!

    1. Thanks--that's exactly why I love doing these interviews--getting to know my fellow authors better. :)